What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 18:31
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Why does my private parts itch so much during certain periods?
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
This is soul school!.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Methane-eating sea spiders discovered off Southern California coast - SFGATE
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Especially a lifetime of it.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Which is better, a naked picture of some one you know or porn videos?
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I said to her
AMD Stock Soars as Piper Sandler Raises Price Target After 'Advancing AI' Event - Investopedia
I know ,a lot about trauma.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Why is Roblox so laggy it’s unplayable? My computer is fine and the internet is great.
She found it foreign!.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
How can I remove decimals in math?
Why did i forgive my father ?
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
She loved him until the end.
Red Dead Redemption 2's PS5 Version Could Be Announced Next Week - Push Square
We were not on the streets..
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Was to survive, this bastard.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Would this be the day?
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I never cut or harmed myself..
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
My family never makes their pension either.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
But ive been too sick for many years..
The only rule us 5 kids had .
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I was very sick at this time too.
I could never make a relationship work though!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I waited trembling.
I don,t even have a pension.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
On the 31st of Jan this month .
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
One cannot live in the past .
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I think the readers, may guess!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Ive learnt so much.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I will be 64.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
We all went to grammer schools
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
But it wasn’t much.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
What did i know ?
Who then, do I blame.?
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
She married twice! .
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
(And it was in our own minds.)
I was seconnd youngest,
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
It was going to be , some day.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
When she asked me how she looked .
I was scared of men, in general
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Comes on , in middle age.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Im still living with it.
She was in good health!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
So, i spoilt her more .
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
And i lived it daily.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
As i do to all so called friends.?
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
So whats the point in blame.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
But, we were locked up after school.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I have no regrets .
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
My mum and dad in the seventies!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Put me off passion for life!!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
She wouldn,t have been !
He knew the spot.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I write beautiful poetry .
My life is so biszare .
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I was 9 years of age.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
All the time i was locked up.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.